Internet Slang-a-Rang-a-Rant

Took me a long time to realize what ‘SMH’ stood for.  ‘Shot my husband? Showed my hoohah? Sally met Harry?

But no, these were all wrong. It’s ‘shakes my head,’ for those that are behind the times on this, too. I attribute this obstacle in figuring it out in that I think half the people don’t use it in the right damn context. Or they’re just passive aggressive. Or maybe they’re just nicer than I am.

For example:

  1. Woman is telling her friends she ‘SMH’ because she got a drink thrown at her at a bar. So..she responds by shaking her head at them? NO. No they don’t. What she should’ve done was ‘slap them in the face and tell them to carry the fuck on’ is what (Slang: STITF CTFO).
  2. Starbucks barista makes your $6.00 nonfat extra hot with whip latte incorrect and you ‘SMH?’ NO. No you don’t. You ‘tell them to make you another one’ (Slang: TTTMYAO).  It doesn’t matter if you wanted it extra fat, extra whip, extra hot on the bottom, extra cold on the top – you just paid $6.00 for it! And believe me when I say that if you don’t get your cup of joe in the morning then you won’t be just ‘shaking your head’ at all the idiots you’re going to encounter throughout the day. Instead, those heads will be rollin’, and you’ll be thinking they’re hatin’.
  3. Stubbed your toe, BAD. No one in their right mind would shake their head for that. Swearing, air punching, limping, crying, and being down right mad as shit is what will happen.

So for today’s rant, before you tell your social media friends that you ‘shake your head’ at a situation, let’s make sure it’s for the appropriate reasons. Or I will find you. And I will shake my head at you. Shit, I’ll even include a forefinger ‘tisk tisk.’

Cheers.

Introduction

This is a blog dedicated to us 20 or 30 something’s that have their shit semi-together, and by that I mean that you’re probably still waiting to become a trophy wife..or you’re not (HA! Who needs men…).

It’s the hope that you’ll find some healthy recipes for those of us that go on week or month long ‘benders’ to get ourselves bikini ready, or to anticipate some hot, future sex (sigh).

Then there’s always the recipes here for when you tell your sweatpants you love them, and no one or nothing else will understand you the way that they do.

The next morning, when you regret what you’ve done, and you throw your sweats aside, cursing the comfort they gave you the night before, you’ll come back to the healthy recipes, apologizing for the mistake. See? This blog isn’t that bad! Not as bad as your sweats that you shunned in the corner of your room…which, while you’re at it, pick those bad boys up…you’ll need them for running when the weather gets warm. Unless you live in Winnipeg, then you’ll just need the warmth.

We have jobs, kids, pets, those guys that give us the motivation to shave our legs once a week, a social life, a family life, a boyfriend, a fiancé, a husband (get off my blog, woman…JK) etc. Point is, we’re all really fucking busy with life. Here’s hoping that this blog can relate to your demanding schedule, be there when you need some motivation, some recipe ideas, some fucking (weird…auto correct tried to change that to ‘fuckonging,’ uh..what?) chocolate cake, and some recognition that women out there are just. like. you. (5 minute time out, just spilt red wine all over myself).

DISCLAIMER: While this content may be offensive to some viewers, please be advised that these ‘opinions’ are just intended for easy reads for anyone that takes an interest in my writing. It is not meant to offend anyone (trust me, I have friends that come from all walks of life) including those that want to be walked…and that lick their genitalia for fun (my DOG, get your mind out of the gutter).

Cheers,