Fall Was the New Black


You know what paired really well with fall this season? White girls.

When I was a kid and the cooler, dry season came around, I was a little sad that there were no more visits to the beach, or weekend camping trips, and most importantly, that I had to go back to school after a lovely 2 months off. But I also recall fall being all about the colours of the fucking leaves changing, the blisters I’d obtain from helping rake the lawn, and then seeing how long I could jump into the pile of them I’d collected before getting into trouble (Let’s be honest, that’s the only reason I’d help rake leaves).

However, now that I’m older, fall has drastically changed my point of view as no longer being a season between summer and winter.

Nope, now this season goes out to the pumpkin spice drinking, boot and scarf wearing, possibly hipster toque buying females who literally can’t get enough of the short weeks leading up to winter. As Stewie might say, ‘This is no longer JUST a season.. this is a lifestyle, Brian.’ Fall is about style. It has nothing to do with denial of the harsh winter months ahead. This is a fashion statement. This is about belonging. So bitch you better have your boots, your scarves, and your tea. Curl up on your couch and start watching all the new shows that began airing between Sept – Oct. Heck, while you’re at it, bake some shit! And light some fucking candles. Your house will smell like the statement you meant to make.


Apples and….’Pears’

Ok ladies…Liqueur For Love has decided on a comeback.

I’m pretty fucking rusty I might add.

Sometimes, you can have a good thing, but it’s really not as good as well..having it with another. And sometimes you can have a bad thing, but paired with something else and you’re good as gold.

  • Fall                                                        Pumpkin Anything (and a boyfriend)
  • Mexican Food                                 Bathroom (plan ahead)
  • Burnt Toast                                      More Bread
  • Black Liquorice                              Garbage can (BURN. IT. ALL.)
  • Copious amounts of Vodka     Advil
  • 24 hours                                             More Time in the Day
  • Shopping mall                                  Someone Else’s Visa
  • Loneliness                                          Dog (I know, I’m deep)
  • Zac Efron                                            Me (I know you thought it was you but..that is incorrect)
  • My Cooking                                       Back up 7/11 Chicken
  • Bacon..                                                  More Bacon
  • Mornings                                             Caesars (for the experienced)
  • A Mistake                                            Plan B (do you even pun?)
  • My Wallet                                            Money (help me, I’m poor)
  • A Good Story                                     Minimum 5 Swear Words
  • Right Now                                            A Fucking Drink